Walkers (originally Smiths) Salt n’ Shake

Cricklewood Broadway. The sky is grey and oppressive. A steady stream of traffic flows between the road’s faded markings; the tarmac is puckered from successive resurfacing.

Piper’s Arreton Tomato Crisps

Eight weeks ago, the Ventrilocrisp was playing football. It took a step to the left —nothing unusual—but suddenly, something was …

Cheetos Cheese Flavour Footballs

‘The Ventrilocrisp had high hopes for the footballs, expecting a specimen, like the beautiful game itself, with mass appeal.’ When …